Editing
During the two years that I’ve been an editor, I learned the importance of being brutally honest to the person whose work I’m editing. I realized if I were in their position, I’d probably want someone to care enough to encourage me to write the best possible version of any piece I write.
Process
Once someone is finished writing their article, they’ll send it over to an editor for review. That editor will then follow through with the first stage of editing.
We normally notify each other in our editors group chat when we’re done doing the first phase of editing. Someone will then take up the second stage of editing and be responsible to publish. We established a two editor system to ensure the article is as clean as possible.
This is how a perfect scenario would look like, however, it’s not always like this. If the edit is major enough where the editor cannot directly make the changes, they’ll make comments on the doc or set up a conference during class to discuss suggestions. That could take a single day or even a week.
If an editor is unsure about something, we usually discuss it as a team and look at the article together. One person will just end up talking to the writer about it. Overall, the process of editing takes multiple stages and requires multiple people.
Examples
100% Online until November 6th. Well, what does that mean exactly?
Published: August 5, 2020, The Knight Crier
About: In August, staff writer Jojo Dalwadi wrote an article about what virtual learning will look like starting September. After reading the article, I felt that there had to be some majors changes.
My main edits were as follows:
Revise the lede: The lede was buried and there were too many ideas going on. I suggested going for a more straightforward approach because it was a news piece that needed to prioritize the facts.
Too much of him: Jojo is a terrific public speaker and I completely heard his voice in this, but it got to a point where it was just too much. Also, you should never refer to yourself in a news piece. It became too conversational with the “gotcha” and unnecessary commentary. In his original piece, he talked about his experience and also wrote like he was texting a friend. I suggested that he focus more on the topic itself rather than his own opinions, as well as writing more formerly.
Weird wording: Many sentences were simply too wordy. I suggested moving around some of the words and removing some to make the sentences more concise and straight to the point.
ORIGINAL COPY
By Jojo Dalwadi
There are sometimes things in life that everybody just generally knows-- even if they aren’t highly interested in the thing that’s known. Here are some: everyone knows that the President of the United States is Donald Trump, regardless of whether or not you’re into politics. Everyone knows that the Seattle Seahawks should've ran the ball, even if you didn’t watch the game. And everyone knows that you can’t breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
Gotcha.
But there is something else that enters the list of things that “everyone just generally knows,” and that is that the North Penn School District opted to go with 100% virtual learning for all levels until November 6th.
LANSDALE — On Tuesday night, North Penn Education Committee had a meeting to discuss the virtual learning plan for secondary students.
Well, what does that mean for high school students? North Penn’s Education Committee answered that very question during their meeting on Tuesday, August 4th. Here is the recap.
High (and middle)school and middle school students will be given two different options on how they would like to approach the first marking period. : Aasynchronous (on your own time) or synchronous (on a bell schedule). Let’s discuss synchronous learning first. But let me start off by mentioning this, and this point cannot be made any more clear than the way I’m going to say it, but ALLll students in the secondary levels (middle and high) are AUTOMATICALLYautomatically signed up for the synchronous learning option. I will discuss how to sign up for the asynchronous learning option later in the article.
Here is the bell schedule for sSynchronous lLearning Bell Schedule:
8:00-8:40
8:45-9:25
9:30-10:10
10:15-10:55
Break/Office Hrs: 10:55 to -12:00
12:00-12:40
12:45:-1:25
1:30-2:10
2:15-2:55
Students will be expected to sign in at specific times through Canvass and teachers will even take attendance. There will also be 40 Mminutes of synchronouslive learningsessions and 5 minutes to walktransition to your next class…….. too soon? Lessons will be recorded for students to review if they cannot attend the live lesson.
Now cClass structure can vary from teacher to teacher, some teachers might have their class be structured like:.
10-15 minutes of class discussion to begin class, . tThen, time could be allocated to students to work on an assignment or group work, then. Towards the end of the period, you’d come back and havethe class will regroup for a discussion to end the period.
Or,
30 mins of teaching, then the rest with leftover time to start homework or other assignments.
All students alsowill have a break from 10:55 AM to 12 PM. That breakout session in the middle of day serves as an opportunity for students to go get support for whatever subject they need, to make up missed assignments, or to work in small groups for projects. And, ALLAll students are also still scheduled for lunch. So, hypothetically, you could have 4th period lunch, and then have the hour break right after, or have the hour break and then have 5th period lunch.
and could have it before or after the break session.
And this isn’t confirmed but the hour break could also serve as a purpose for teachers. More specifically, for science teachers. That could be a time that science teachers use to demonstrate a lab since EVERYBODY is off during that time-- just something to keep in mind.
Even though the district chose to use the sameNorth Penn will continue the traditional grading structure for online learning, but changes have been made for there are some changes to which how or what teachers will be using to grade youstudents will be graded. Obviously you’d still have tTests and quizzes will still be administered. B, but the administration recognizes that it might be really harddifficult for some students to sit down and take a math test in front of their computer screen and perform the same as to taking the test in a classroom setting. For this reason,Which is why genuine assessment of content mastery will take place. That could , meaning that youstudents are graded by various means. :S small groups, a teacher could “interview” youstudents to see how much youthey understand a lesson, essays and/or presentations.
For asynchronous learning, students
Now let’s talk about asynchronous learning. As I mentioned before, choosing that option would mean you operate on your own time and not on a bell schedule. That may sound great until you realize that you are completely on your own without class collaboration. The system itself is run by thewill work independently with the North Penn Virtual Academy through Edgenuity-- and yes, it was there before the pandemic. .
Edgenuity uses North Penn teachers and even gives credit towards your high school diploma. and the content will be aligned to NPSD curricula. You Office hours will be provided, and students can still participate in clubs and activities if youthey choose this option. And I myself have a little bit of experience using Edgenuity so I know what it is like to an extent. I say to an extent because I’m almost 100% sure it will not be used the exact same way I had to use it. I used Edgenuity to course advance math by taking geometry over the summer. And the way I remember it was:
I got to log on any time I wanted,
I watched a 10 minute video of a teacher instructing a lesson (video not live),
Did an assignment (which was my homework) that had 10 questions based on the lesson,
And then I took a quiz or test on that lesson. If I’m right, quizzes were 10 questions and tests were 20-25.
And all of the above steps made 1 lesson, and I had to take 3 lessons a day. So all of that times 3. Obviously take all of that information with a grain of salt considering that I used Edgenuity for one course, not for all of my classes. But still none the less something to think about when deciding if you’d like to do asynchronous learning or synchronous.
And if you’d like to choose the asynchronous option, you will have to contact Email Mr. Galante (galantjj@npenn.org) and copy your guidance counselor.
Those who plan to choose the asynchronous option must contact Mr. Galante (galantjj@npenn.org) and copy their guidance counselor.
As for the North Montco Technical Career Center, there are no concrete news. They are working with 500 school districts so they have to try their best to align with every district's reopening plan by taking into account who is in-person, who is online, and who is hybrid. So we don’t know what it will look like for North Montco yet.
REVISED COPY
By Jojo Dalwadi
LANSDALE — On Tuesday night, the North Penn School Board’s Education Committee had a meeting to discuss the virtual learning plan for secondary students.
High school students will be given two different options on how they would like to approach the first marking period: asynchronous or synchronous. All students in the secondary levels are automatically signed up for the synchronous learning option; however, middle school students will follow a block schedule.
Synchronous Learning Bell Schedule for High School Students:
8:00-8:40
8:45-9:25
9:30-10:10
10:15-10:55
Break/Office Hrs: 10:55-12:00
12:00-12:40
12:45-1:25
1:30-2:10
2:15-2:55
Students will be expected to sign in at specific times through Canvas and teachers will take attendance. There will be 40 minutes of live sessions and 5 minutes to transition to your next class. Lessons will be recorded for students to review if they cannot attend the live lesson.
Class structure can vary from teacher to teacher.
10-15 minutes of class discussion to begin class. Then, time could be allocated to students to work on an assignment or group work. Towards the end of the period, the class will regroup for a discussion.
Or
30 mins of teaching with leftover time to start homework or other assignments.
All students will have a break from 10:55 AM to 12 PM. That breakout session in the middle of day serves as an opportunity for students to go get support for whatever subject they need, to make up missed assignments, or to work in small groups for projects. All students are also still scheduled for lunch and could have it before or after the break session.
North Penn will continue the traditional grading structure for online learning, but changes have been made for how students will be graded. Tests and quizzes will still be administered, but the administration recognizes that it might be difficult for some students to sit down and take a math test in front of their computer screen and perform the same as to taking the test in a classroom setting. For this reason, genuine assessment of content mastery will take place, meaning that students are graded by various means: small groups, a teacher could “interview” students to see how much they understand a lesson, essays and/or presentations.
For asynchronous learning, students will work independently with the North Penn Virtual Academy through Edgenuity.
Edgenuity uses North Penn teachers and the content will be aligned to NPSD curricula. Office hours will be provided, and students can still participate in clubs and activities if they choose this option.
Those who plan to choose the asynchronous option must contact Mr. Galante (galantjj@npenn.org) and copy their guidance counselor.
As for the North Montco Technical Career Center, there is no concrete news. They are working with 5 school districts so they have to try their best to align with every district's reopening plan by taking into account who is in-person, who is online, and who is hybrid.
Breakout Rooms: Effective or Inefficient?
Published: February 9, 2021, The Knight Crier
About: I helped first year reporter Ali Brooks with her article examining the effectiveness of breakout rooms. There were minimal edits on this one, but I felt that my suggestions made a difference.
My main edits were as follows:
Diction: She used “awkwardness” twice near each other, so I changed it the second time she said it for variety.
Quote from teacher: She got great quotes from students, but I figured it would be nice to have a quote or two from a teacher to hear their thoughts on the topic.
ORIGINAL COPY
By Ali Brooks
TOWAMENCIN - With the end of the second marking period coming to a close just last week, the milestone for half a year of virtual learning has officially been met for the 2020-2021 school year. While at NPHS it seems that many students prefer virtually learning over going into hybrid schoolhybrid at NPHS, there is still desirestill a desire for change regarding a number of features present in the virtual classroom. One of the biggest being the use of breakout rooms.
Every student who has become acquainted with virtual learning will know the term breakout room very well. Breakout rooms are meant to split the classroom into separate sessions in which students are meant to have focused conversations, work together on assignments, or simply just be able to share their thoughts in a more isolated group rather than in front of the entire virtual meeting. But while, in theory, breakout rooms are an effective teaching tool, they have become quite the opposite for many high school students.
Personally, being told I am going to be put in a breakout room does everything but excite me. Because of the virtual setting, I hardly even know what my peers look like, much less who they are. It brings on a feeling of stress when I get put into a group of two, three, or four students who I hardly ever have contact with. Needless to say, most of the time when I am put in a breakout room, nothing seems to get accomplished and it is not just myself who feels this way.
“The group either works well together and is very productive or no one says anything and the group does nothing but sit in silence. It’s just because there’s such a lack of communication and usually you do not know many people in your group which makes it awkward,” junior Brooke Baitinger said.
Awkward has been a popular word used by students to describe situations they’ve experienced while participating in breakout rooms.
“When people don’t engage in breakout rooms, it’s just awkward and no one gets anything done,” junior Alexis Charles said.
Furthermore, there seems to be a sense of nervousness that comes along with working in a group of unknown individuals, especially if the group doesn’t have any given direction. Students often feel singled out and alone in their confusion on the work assigned and feel uneasy about asking others who they have never met before.
“Honestly, kids are just afraid to speak up,. iIt’s embarrassing if you don’t know what’s going on, and everyone feels this way.,” junior Lauren Trippetti said. “Everyone thinks they’re the only one too, so they won’t speak up to the other students,” junior Lauren Trippetti said..”
The awkwardnessdiscomfort and unproductiveness that surrounds the idea of working in breakout rooms is not just felt by the students of North Penn High School either. Students from all over the country feel similarly about the experience of having worked in these smaller virtual rooms.
“Hardly anyone talks in the rooms or even turns their cameras on, it’s very awkward. In theory, they are a good idea but people are always scared to talk and even then, some people don’t even know what’s going on half the time,” said Marina Andrade, a junior at Santa Ynez High School in California, said.
Earlier in the school year, an associate professor and chair of the theology department at Loyola University Maryland, Rebekah Eklund, polled her students about the use of breakout rooms and provided a general list of the student feedback she received to The Chronicle of Higher Education. She not-so-coincidentally came up with a list very similar to the feedback heard around North Penn High School.
She found that no one talked, cameras were off, students felt unprepared, and most importantly when students felt lost about the given assignment, the group simply shut down as a whole and nothing got done.
So the question is, where can teachers go from here? Feedback following breakout rooms is negative from the majority of students, so how can teachers make them less intolerable? Should they go as far as to get rid of breakout rooms altogether?
While I believe breakout rooms are a great way to replicate group classwork and even give the chance for individual voices to be heard, it is clear that they are not being used for their intended purposes. It seems that less work is actually being accomplished when put in these rooms of virtually exhausted students and given the setting, it has become difficult for them to harness any focus in the breakout rooms without the direction and presence of their teacher.
Even with varying opinions on the effectiveness of breakout rooms, I am sure we can all agree that the phrase “What are we even supposed to be doing right now?” has been heard by nearly every virtual student ever. So iIf there ever becomes a way for people to comfortably work together in the virtual school setting, students will be all ears.
REVISED COPY
By Ali Brooks
With the end of the second marking period coming to a close just last week, the milestone for half a year of virtual learning has officially been met for the 2020-2021 school year. While it seems that many students prefer virtual learning over hybrid at NPHS, there is still a desire for change regarding a number of features present in the virtual classroom. One of the biggest being the use of breakout rooms.
Every student who has become acquainted with virtual learning will know the term breakout room very well. Breakout rooms split the classroom into separate sessions in which students are meant to have focused conversations, work together on assignments, or simply just be able to share their thoughts in a more isolated group rather than in front of the entire virtual meeting. But while, in theory, breakout rooms are an effective teaching tool, they have become quite the opposite for many high school students.
Personally, being told I am going to be put in a breakout room does everything but excite me. Because of the virtual setting, I hardly even know what my peers look like, much less who they are. It brings on a feeling of stress when I get put into a group of two, three, or four students who I hardly ever have contact with. Needless to say, most of the time when I am put in a breakout room, nothing seems to get accomplished and it is not just myself who feels this way.
“The group either works well together and is very productive or no one says anything and the group does nothing but sit in silence. It’s just because there’s such a lack of communication and usually you do not know many people in your group which makes it awkward,” junior Brooke Baitinger said.
Awkward has been a popular word used by students to describe situations they’ve experienced while participating in breakout rooms.
“When people don’t engage in breakout rooms, it’s just awkward and no one gets anything done,” junior Alexis Charles said.
Furthermore, there seems to be a sense of nervousness that comes along with working in a group of unknown individuals, especially if the group doesn’t have any given direction. Students often feel singled out and alone in their confusion on the work assigned and feel uneasy about asking others who they have never met before.
“Honestly, kids are just afraid to speak up. It’s embarrassing if you don’t know what’s going on, and everyone feels this way,” junior Lauren Trippetti said. “Everyone thinks they’re the only one too, so they won’t speak up to the other students.”
The discomfort and unproductiveness that surrounds the idea of working in breakout rooms is not just felt by the students of North Penn High School either. Students from all over the country feel similarly about the experience of having worked in these smaller virtual rooms.
“Hardly anyone talks in the rooms or even turns their cameras on, it’s very awkward. In theory, they are a good idea but people are always scared to talk and even then, some people don’t even know what’s going on half the time,” Marina Andrade, a junior at Santa Ynez High School in California, said.
Earlier in the school year, an associate professor and chair of the theology department at Loyola University Maryland, Rebekah Eklund, polled her students about the use of breakout rooms and provided a general list of the student feedback she received to The Chronicle of Higher Education. She not-so-coincidentally came up with a list very similar to the feedback heard around North Penn High School.
She found that no one talked, cameras were off, students felt unprepared, and most importantly when students felt lost about the given assignment, the group simply shut down as a whole and nothing got done.
Mr. John Collier, a member of the Science Department at North Penn High School, believes that although breakout rooms can be a useful addition to learning virtually, they also have their fair share of drawbacks.
“Breakout rooms can be a great addition to the teaching arsenal during these strange times. I've used breakout rooms to put students into lab groups or just to have small group discussions,” Collier said. “Just like a regular classroom, digital breakout rooms have limitations though. They're slightly harder to monitor than in person breakout sessions.”
While trying to monitor multiple breakout rooms at once has shown its difficulties, Collier is eager to learn more about how other teachers are utilizing the feature and hopes they can evolve in the future.
“The built-in Google breakout rooms can't be monitored simultaneously, and if you just open a bunch of meets and have them all running, it can be quite a cacophony,” Collier said. “However, those limitations aside, many students open up in breakout rooms and seem to enjoy working through problems and activities with their peers. There are probably many more ways that other teachers are using breakout rooms, and I hope we get the chance to share techniques at an upcoming in-service activity.”
So the question is, where can teachers go from here? Feedback following breakout rooms is negative from the majority of students, so how can teachers make them less intolerable? Should they go as far as to get rid of breakout rooms altogether?
While I believe breakout rooms are a great way to replicate group classwork and even give the chance for individual voices to be heard, it is clear that they are not being used for their intended purposes. It seems that less work is actually being accomplished when put in these rooms of virtually exhausted students and given the setting, it has become difficult for them to harness any focus in the breakout rooms without the direction and presence of their teacher.
Even with varying opinions on the effectiveness of breakout rooms, I am sure we can all agree that the phrase “What are we even supposed to be doing right now?” has been heard by nearly every virtual student ever. If there ever becomes a way for people to comfortably work together in the virtual school setting, students will be all ears.